A truth: I suck at speaking to people; I suck at explaining myself.
I’ve always struggled with this little fact. I’m not good with words, unlike some of my friends who weave sentences or phrases in their minds so fast and let it ease out of their mouths (or fingertips) so fluidly; I, on the other hand, am likely to stammer while talking. 80% of the time, when I try to speak out, it usually ends in awkward silence, so I end up clamming up. Close friends would disagree on this – that I actually speak fine with them, but that’s because I’m comfortable enough & even with my constant struggle with words, they took me under their wing.
If it’s not obvious by now, I’m an introvert. And yes, there are times that I speak straight and true, especially when it comes to what I’m passionate about – like pushing a friend to buy a shiny new PS4 – and when those rare moments happen, I can’t help but feel a little proud of myself.
My head though is filled with ideas, phrases, words left unspoken. This resulted in many restless nights, tossing & turning before sleep finally came during the wee hours in the morning. I knew I needed some form of a solution, so I’ve researched & asked around.
I’ve heard about the Morning Pages about a year ago – a little method/tip from Julia Cameron‘s book, The Artist’s Way. You basically fill up 3 pages every single day in the morning (or anytime you can, really) – doesn’t matter if what you write doesn’t make sense or if your grammar isn’t exactly correct; just write 3 pages every day.
It honestly took me awhile to get started, cause it just seemed like such a daunting task, but here I am with an entire Moleskine filled, 2 and a half months later. I’ve written in this journal every. single. day. It feels like a huge accomplishment cause I honestly am bad at keeping journals.
This form of journaling promotes free flowing words & creative ideas; I found that it also helps with mental health as I’ve been writing down my anxieties in it as well.
Overall: I’m less anxious, less likely to stay awake at night because my mind won’t keep silent, & most of all, I have a place to store my ideas which I can act on whenever I deem it time to do so. ☺️
Love,